Knowing Yourself – The First 14 Steps of Your Inward Journey

It’s time to be fully present within yourself.

Get ready to upgrade your experience in 2014 by getting to know yourself better. Then bring forth the best You. I want to share a great tool to help you get from “here” to “there”. I highly recommend exploring yourself deeper by visiting How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? Here’s How To Tell by Carolyn Gregoire in the December 5, 2013 Huffington Post, The Third Metric/Redefining Success Beyond Money and Power.

You can cut to the highlights of the exercise below. It explores how “…our emotional intelligence — the way we manage emotions, both our own and those of others — can play a critical role in determining our happiness and success. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is like “street smarts,” as opposed to “book smarts,” and it’s what accounts for a great deal of one’s ability to navigate life effectively.”

Keys to Living Your Life To Its Fullest

Even thought Gorman first developed this tool with a business slant, the criteria are important to evolving anyone’s connection to life. The five components of emotional intelligence, as defined by Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence are:

  1. self-awareness
  2. self-regulation
  3. motivation
  4. social skills
  5. empathy

These are five keys to living your life to the fullest. We can be strong in some of these areas and deficient in others, but we all have the power to improve any of them.

Take an hour at some point before the New Year, dedicate it to yourself, and truly reflect on knowing where you stand in regard to these five indicators of emotional intelligence. You may want to think of these questions as 14 petals of consciousness in the lotus blossom of your self-awareness. You will be ready to allow the energy of winter solstice launch you into a powerfully happy and fruitful New Year 2014!  Help yourself connect to your brightest future.  Begin the conscious journey of knowing yourself now.

The Journey To A Happier You Begins

Even if you only have time to focus on one question a day, remember it’s quality not speed that matters. Get some paper. Writing down your thoughts will focus your attention. If it helps, assign a numerical value to how you “score” yourself for each question.  At the end of the 14 steps, you will have a clear appreciation of your strengths, and uncover areas that need your attention. Explore any dark corners where you might be blocking your own light; stunting your own growth; standing in your own way.You are learning to be comfortable with you; learning to use your own power to improve the quality of your life.

OK, ready? Create a quiet space. Relax. Close your eyes and breathe deeply a few times. Really contemplate each question. What insight does each provide to how you live in your world and relate to other people? What do you feel? Let your feelings guide you to transforming any fear-based limitations.

Emotional Intelligence

(A Study Guide)

1. You are curious about people you don’t know

Emotional intelligence relates to empathy, the degree you are “attuned to the needs and feelings of others, and act in a way that is sensitive to those needs.” Empathy can improve the quality of life for everyone, including yourself.

2. You are a great leader  (or, do you lead yourself well?!)

Consider your:

  • Trustworthiness
  • Integrity
  • comfort with ambiguity
  • openness to change
  • ability to direct disruptive impulses and moods
  • optimism in the face of failure
  • organized commitment to a goal
  • pursuit of your passion

3. You know your strengths and weaknesses

Know where you excel and where you struggle. “If you know what you’re truly effective at, then you can operate from that with confidence,” he says. You can improve your weaknesses and reduce your struggles.

4. You know how to pay attention

“Without being present with ourselves and others, its difficult to develop self-awareness and strong relationships.”

5. When you are upset, you know exactly why

“Take a step back from (your) emotions, look at what you are feeling, and examine the effect that the emotion has on (you).”

What is the emotion telling you? It is a clear message regarding your needs. Work on meeting your needs in healthy ways.

6. You can get along with most people

7. You care deeply about being a good, moral person

“If you’re someone who cares about building up this side of yourself, regardless of how you’ve acted in past moral situations, you may have a high emotional intelligence (EQ).”

8. You take time to slow down and help others

This ties into your ability to empathize with others. We grow along a continuum from “complete self-absorption…to noticing…to empathy…to compassion.”

9. Your good at reading people’s facial expressions

“…sens(ing) how others are feeling is an important part of having a good EQ”, and important for developing empathy.

10. After you fall, you get right back up

“The resilient person isn’t papering over the negative emotions, but instead letting them exist side-by-side with other feelings.” ~ Barbara Fredrickson

11. You are a good judge of character

“You’ve always been able to get a sense for who someone is right off the bat — and your intuitions are rarely wrong.”

12. You trust your gut

You follow your intuition with courage.

13. You are self-motivated

14. You know when to say “No.”

“Self regulation means being able to discipline yourself and avoid unhealthy habits, tolerate stress and control impulses.”

OK! You did it. You deepened your understanding of yourself. You’ve consciously taken 14 steps down your inward path toward self-awareness, better relationships, more empowered living, happiness and passion. Let that wisdom soak in and carry you to a greater future.

Let it be so.



© Louise Kearns 2013. All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to share this article in its entirety on the condition that full credit is given to the author, it is distributed freely and the URL is included.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Knowing Yourself – The First 14 Steps of Your Inward Journey

  1. Pingback: Damn Gift of Mine | The Velvet Closet of a Lesbian

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s