I am processing grief today. Some of it is my own, being processed ahead of its time, in smaller bites, so that I am able to better emotionally survive a great personal loss that is unfolding. Some of the grief that I am processing today is not my own but rather a sadness that I feel from the collective consciousness. Perhaps some of tears I cry today stem from the human tragedies being experienced in the Phillippines and other parts of the world where ongoing human pain is, sadly, a daily part of living. When I feel like this, it tends to amplify those situations and conditions in my life that are less than nurturing; less than satisfactory; less than what I envision as being a minimum level of inflow to sustain a joyful and happy outflow of my energies. But I know that those things are of little true consequence and am able to quickly recede the impact of their potentially disconnecting and distracting messages.
I take this knowledge that my emotions are affecting my vision in stride to the best of my ability. I have come down my path far enough to be able to keep that in perspective, at least, and am grateful for the comfort that it provides. There are also, thankfully, a few people in my life that I can vent to; that are willing to listen as I purge the energy of my pain and dissatisfaction rooted in the ego that I have worked a lifetime to befriend and understand. As long as you are alive, your ego will try to retake the wheel of your vehicle, if even for a brief period. Learning to bless and caress the ego as you direct it comfortably toward the back seat is a process that becomes easier and gentler as you age and/or become more adept at practicing your spiritual beliefs.
Regarding my personal grief, I can honestly tell you that you may spend 40 years emotionally preparing yourself, subconsciously and consciously, for something and yet find yourself emotionally resistant when you find it knocking at your door. In conjunction with the collective grief being brought into awareness, well, I have to accept that grief is just a human emotion that we will all experience. I will try to expand my heart and the love at its core to provide peace and awareness of the greater Source to any and all affected by the pain of grief; my own small self included.
I read. http://spiritlibrary.com/ has consistently provided information relevant to my growth and ability to center myself when my own ability to do so wavers. One of the writers that I discovered there, Cheryl Richardson, has several wonderful tools on her website http://cherylrichardson.com/. I love her “A Touch of Grace” button. I know that Spirit will make itself known to me without effort on my part, but the knowledge that I can actively seek those messages through a click of my mouse has comforted me more than once. Today, I noticed for the very first time another tool that she offers free of charge, her “Coach on Call” message of the week. Today I clicked it. The message was, “Grief is a doorway to the soul.” Then I noticed a textbox of spooling messages, one of which was, “Our ability to grieve expands our ability to love.” Thank you Cheryl. Thank you Divine Spirit working through Cheryl.
When I am feeling grief, I try not to let it consume me. I have experienced unbearable grief before and will again. I am alive. Rather, when I am grieving, I try to embrace my own humanity that much more. I make it a point to notice and feel gratitude for the joy that is always there at the peripheral of my experience. I see strangers laugh. I see an unknown child delight in the antics of their puppy. I watch a squirrel race around a tree trunk. I watch a falling leaf suspended for an inordinate amount of time right outside my window before it succumbs to the force of gravity and disappears from my field of vision.
When I make even a feeble attempt to embrace the beauty all around me, it gives me strength to feel potentially devastating emotions and let them pass. For now, at this moment, I feel the Truth in Cheryl’s message. Grief is a doorway to the soul, and I am comforted by what I find there.
© Louise Kearns 2013. All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to share this article in its entirety on the condition that full credit is given to the author, it is distributed freely and the URL https://helllouise.wordpress.com is included.