Another’s Pain – A Call To Be

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.
~ Lou Holtz

What a difference a day can make. Today many people that I hold closely in my heart are in pain; great pain, both physical and emotional. Sometimes it is harder to see people that you love laid low through grief and pain than it is to experience those aspects of being human yourself.  Would that we could take another’s pain away. Tie it into a bundle and bury that bundle so that that Mother Earth could transform it into a giant pain flower so that at least the birds would benefit, or the oblivious passerby as they noticed this strange, unusual flower.  But that’s just a vision.

What can you do when you see (and/or feel) another’s pain? Nothing. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a human life without pain.  All that you can do is hold a conscious space for them so that they may feel and process their pain.

That is not what we are taught to do, generally. Many instead try to minimize another’s pain, or utter some innocuous platitude designed to make the speaker feel more comfortable with what they are witnessing.

Instead, try to just be there for those who are suffering. Your silent, conscious presence often will provide more comfort than any language could convey. Open your heart as wide as possible and hold it open for them.  Allow them to feel the love that issues forth from your open heart.

Let the other lead. Perhaps they start to talk. Even if you can barely understand one word in ten, don’t interrupt.  Just quietly hold that heart space open and allow them to feel what they feel and say what they say. No matter how deep their well of pain goes, eventually they will reach the bottom, spent and purged. It is only after this process is completed that they may begin to heal.

You can’t ‘fix it’. Don’t try. They aren’t broken. They are human.

When you find yourself having a day like I’m having today, when there are several ‘disastrous’ events going on for loved ones of multiple circles, remember to triply love and honor yourself. You are needed. If your cup is empty, you surely will be of no use to your loved one(s). Do whatever you do to remain aware, centered and calm. All of the biggest storms have an eye, a ‘calm zone’ right in the middle. Can you be the eye in the storm that is battering those you love? You can, but only with your fullest presence and unspoken attention.

Oh yes, Scorpionic energies, I am grateful that I know you well.



© Louise Kearns 2013. All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to share this article in its entirety on the condition that full credit is given to the author, it is distributed freely and the URL is included.

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