Accept your humanness and all of the imperfection inherent in being human. It is who you are. You have many unique and wonderful qualities but under them all is that which you share with all other people, your human nature. I do not believe that trees fault themselves for being trees, nor birds for being birds. I think that we are the only form of life on this planet which habitually punishes itself for being what it is.
Do you know a single perfect human being? No. That is because people are not perfect. It is perfectly human to be imperfect. Yet somehow we think we ‘should’ be perfect. We struggle and suffer from this toxic belief. It can wreak havoc on the quality of our lives. We then believe that we are flawed; that we are not good enough; that others are better than us. This toxic belief causes us endless worry and self-doubt, pain, sadness and despair. We nurture and feed energy to this toxic idea by thinking about it and reinforcing it until it grows to literally possess us. For some of us, it may grow to dominate all other beliefs.
It is a tragic paradox that our human nature creates and feeds this belief while simultaneously and often subconsciously mourning its toxic message. We then blame and punish ourselves. When the belief that there is something wrong with us has become quite strong, we may adopt unhealthy strategies in an attempt to free ourselves from the pervasive grip of our imperfection for even a moment.
We learn of our human imperfection when we are children. We may cry, withdraw from others or develop fear and anxiety. As we grow older, we may try to dull our awareness of our human imperfection by drinking excessive alcohol, doing drugs, or immersing ourselves in any of ten thousand diversions just so that we do not have to admit that we have grown this behemoth within our mind. We may posture ourselves through achievement or possessions to prove to ourselves and others that we do not feel this feeling. Whether we feed this belief as we toss and turn at night, feed it constantly through all of our waking hours, or experience it only as a rare cloud on our psyche, it is something we all share. It is what humans do. It is our nature.
While we may be fully aware of this belief in other people, often we are unready or unwilling to see it within ourselves. It passes from generation to generation, down through the eons of time. It is a part of our human heritage. Our grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren feel this same feeling. So do our neighbors, bosses, lovers, and friends. This feeling of ‘not good enough’ is shared by all the people who have ever been and will ever be. So, cut yourself some slack. You are human. Accept that such feelings are simply human feelings. It is natural for you to feel this feeling. It is OK.
When you can begin to accept that all people share this feeling, you can begin to love yourself and stop blaming yourself for having this feeling. Then, you are free to plant a new thought within the garden of your conscious mind. With regular tending, the new thought will soon become lush, growing larger than the toxic belief that has stolen human joy and courage for eons. The new thought is one of self-acceptance, one of self-love. It is you accepting your humanness and taking an action to overcome this self-defeating belief that lives within your brain. It is you using the power of your heart to create a new, healthier way to be.
Be kind to yourself. You are what you are; a beautiful human being, unique in all the cosmos. Allow yourself to be human. It is what you do best.
© Louise Kearns 2013. All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to freely share this article in its entirety on the condition that full credit is given to the author, it is distributed freely and the URL https://helllouise.wordpress.com is included.